I am brushing my teeth and getting ready for work. I come out of the bathroom and am standing next to Nelson who is asleep on the bed.
Me: (in a whisper) Psst…Are you awake?
Nel: (groggy – he’s asleep) Huh?
Me: When you wake up, look in the tub.
Me: There’s a huge, juicy silverfish in the tub.
Nel: Flush it.
Me: Down the tub?
Nel: The toilet.
Me: I can’t, it’s too big and juicy.
Nel: (moans and goes back to sleep)
I walk out of our bedroom and am heading downstairs for breakfast…
Me: Oh no! There’s a spider on the wall!
Minutes later I hear Nelson’s footsteps upstairs. He killed the silverfish. That’s how I know he loves me.
The spider lives.